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Pan-African News Agency Network

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Pan-African News Agency Network

Postby Corbeau » Thu Apr 17, 2014 9:42 am

MARRAKECH - "France has entered a new stage of imperialist aggression. Its tanks rolling over our cities have shown that the French cannot be negotiated with and that the only way to deal with the intruders is through a barrel of a gun," said the Moroccan information minister Abdul Saeed al-Sahhaf on a today's press conference, held at the balcony of the improvised Ministry of Information offices in Marrakech. The conference was held in a haste after the massive invasion of French armour that crossed the Morrocan border last night and, reportedly, taken over a number of key border towns. However, minister al-Sahhaf called the reports "grossly overexaggerated".

"There are no enemy tanks in our cities! Our forces are holding out and inflicting heavy losses on the enemy. I have been asked is it true that Tangier, Fes and Casablanca have fallen and I can resolutely say: no! Our army and population are giving heavy resistance and we expect that the enemy will be thrown back to their initial positions by the end of the day!"
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The minister, however, asked the international community for aid in money and resources in order to be able to contain the aggression more easily. "We have already started our counterattack and, with the cooperation of our guerrilla units who are wreaking havoc in the enemy's background, we shall emerge from this victorious."

The conference ended abruptly when some servicemen ran into the building and whispered something in the Information Minister's ear, after which he asked the journalists to leave the building as it is going under some emergency renovation. The journalists were then loaded onto military trucks and hasted in the direction of Agadir.

Some excerpts from the press conference can be seen below:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s27Oq5ot0ZI
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Re: Pan-African News Agency Network

Postby Major Nimrod » Thu Apr 17, 2014 5:42 pm

Oh my god, what an awesome post. I loved it ! :D
"Big Brother is watching you" - George Orwell
"Shh! I'm Hunting Wabbits" - Elmer Fudd
"What a Nimrod" - Bugs Bunny

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Re: Pan-African News Agency Network

Postby Corbeau » Fri Apr 18, 2014 9:37 am

AGADIR, MARRAKECH - In a sudden propaganda move, all members of the journalist core in Agadir were gathered under threat of arms and forced into trucks early this morning, only to discover that we are going to a press conference that is to be held at the same place as yesterday, at the balcony of the improvised Ministry of Information in Marrakech. However, we were unloaded several hundred metres earlier so we went through a rally that was celebrating the liberation of that city from the hands of the French.
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"Thank you all for coming here, dear journalists," said the Information Minister Abdul Saeed al-Sahhaf. "We have invited you here to witness the power of the will of the people. The French have entered the city yesterday without fight due to treason of some military commanders. However, just this morning, citizens of Marrakech have spontaneously risen and executed those military commanders. Later on you will be shown their bodies hanging in the main city square, along with some French spies who were caught. Please don't be alarmed at the look of the bodies, the wrath of the people can be devastating sometimes."

The Minister reported that in a recent offensive some areas in the east have also been retaken and that the aggressor is suffering losses at all fronts. "We are bleeding, but so are they! We expect to retake our previous positions within a few days and then continue to completely throw the aggressor off this continent! This invasion will end in a bloodbath, and the blood will be French!"
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